Tuesday 29 January 2013

Decisions!

Well I have no idea's what to write for my post tonight, but I have finally come up with something.. I think, it isn't fun or interesting, it's just something I can waffle about really. So a few months ago I realised that maybe sixth form wasn't the best idea for me... I'm not stupid or anything like that, I can do the work fine, I just have NO confidence and have NO ability to work properly without getting distracted. People that know me well know I have severe meltdowns in lessons and exams. For my A-levels I took Psychology (weird but interesting) BTEC Health and History. Well... my health lessons mean that I am loaded like a donkey each time I see a new teacher, so my work builds up, but now... I have the slight issue of getting it all done for the deadlines. I know it is possible because people do it every year, but right now I am not seeing any way of how I am going to make it! I had to face the decision of whether I am going leave sixth form and find a job or continue feeling like I am going to fail. My friends are supportive but begging that I do not leave. Although I feel loved I am having issues planning what I am going to do really. The people that can make decisions and keep themselves organised are my idols, seriously, I love you. I want to be like you. I fear I am not going to UNI in a couple of years, due to the fact I am terrible in busy areas (I am apparently a easily stressed and short tempered person). Maybe the answer will hit me one day... because right now I am muddled in so many directions and not knowing where to go makes it even harder to sort myself out. School or job.... ahhhh. Life, blegh. Due to my results last year I am now expected to get A's and distinctions in all my work, which can I add IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Which is making me think, I will not need to decide what to do after year 12 because my mum will hang me when she see's my first results.. ahh. How people make themselves organised and make those big decisions amazes me, I know we all have to do it to make sure that we move on through our lives, but right now?! WHAT AM I DOING?! I have no idea. All I can see at the moment is me sitting in an arm chair with a cuppa' tea and a lovely Jam doughnut.. that's how I get through my evenings at the moment. Cups of tea because there is no better drink in the world. I hope everyone out there has made the right decisions for themselves and are leading happy lives :) Pip pip for now! *Now in deep thought of my life, what's going on?*

2 comments:

  1. Wow - I loved how honest this post is, Micky! I'm going through a lot of the same troubles as you (although I think University is different for you than for me) but I can totally understand where you're coming from.

    Sometimes it gets absolutely overwhelming - especially in the evenings, I find. Keep on drinking that tea, and know that you're not alone in all these mess thoughts.

    Love your blog - can't wait for your next post!

    Cheers, Melissa.
    http://laceandmuskeg.blogspot.ca

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    1. Thank you Melissa! I will definitely keep on with the drinking tea! I hope you are also a tea drinker!! Thank you again

      Micky

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